R.S.V.P Where did you go?

So today I was thinking as I was getting ready for my daughter’s birthday that gone are the days where people actually follow the RSVP etiquette.

First- what does RSVP even mean? Well it is French for “répondez, s’il vous plaît,” which means “please respond”. It is common on wedding invites, birthday invites, dinner party invites. It is just the way the host knows what to plan on. How many people do they need to feed and accommodate  for.

I remember as a kid my mom would always call up the other mom and politely let them know if we were attending the function we received an invite for or not. But since having kids of my own I have noticed one thing:

Yep- The RSVP has died. The past few years for birthday’s I have filled out invitations. I have provide both my cell phone number and an email address to make the rsvp process convenient for those we have invited. However each party I only hear from a few. For example last year for my daughter’s birthday we heard from 2 people prior to the party- 1 person the day of the party and about 5 minutes after it started stating they were on their way, while everyone else just showed up. My son’s birthday was similar, a few notified me ahead of time that they were coming, a few informed me that they were not, but most just showed up.  That brings me to this party for my daughter. I have heard from 3 friends, out of 16. But I am pretty sure more then that will show up. But it makes it hard to plan. Do I plan for all and have a lot of left over cake or do I plan for the few. It is so frustrating! What ever happened to a quick- hey we will be there? I have called on every single invite my kids have received. It is the polite thing to do.

So if the RSVP has died why do we bother still putting it on birthday invites?  But the bigger question is- what are we teaching our children? What sort of etiquette are we displaying to them? I may be old fashioned as a 32 year old but I am ok with that.

So I am curious to know- am I the only one who has noticed that the RSVP died? Do you still call/text/or email when you receive an invite?

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8 thoughts on “R.S.V.P Where did you go?

  1. Liberty Boblett

    I have noticed the “death” of RSVP. We had a joint birthday party for my kids and sent out invites and even made a Facebook event. Only a couple of people responded to the FB event and no one bothered to call. It is discouraging, however I think that is how society rolls anymore. I teach my children differently as well.

  2. Erin Slocum

    If we get an invite in the mail I always respond by calling/emailing/talking to in person with a yes or no. II know when I try to plan things I’m always disappointed that people don’t let me know. I feel bad, but sometimes I hunt them down and ask if they’re coming just so I’ll know to plan.

  3. desiab

    I definitely see a trend in this direction, which is truly sad. The last major party we planned was my daughter’s formal graduation party. I put on the invites that an R.S.V.P was required. Surprisingly, we had more people call than I expected, but most people didn’t bother. It was very hard to plan the food.

  4. Krista Bainbridge

    This drives me crazy – I always RSVP if we are coming to something or not! 😛 I have found though, that if you use Facebook invites for parties (as a supplement to the good ol’ paper invites) it tends to get more responses.

  5. Ashley Gill

    I hate this! When you are planning a party and have no idea how many other people to prepare for! UGH!! I feel your pain! The RSVP has definitely been scared away for some reason. I hope we can find it soon!

  6. Tonya Bangart

    This is driving me crazy and my son is only 3. I don’t know if I can handle it by the time he is school age!

    I’m still recovering from our wedding from nearly five years ago… LOL If we had gone by RSVPs, we should have expected under 50 but over 250 arrived. Luckily, our caterer had more experience in this area than we did and was prepared.

    I find it rather rude not to RSVP and I’m disappointed in its decline. Guess us “old-fashioned” types will have to bring it back! 🙂


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