This is me. On a good day. I was tired of feeling depressed and if I was a good enough mother and wife. It has been a battle that I have been struggling with for the longest time. Which is why I have not been blogging much. And honestly normally I do not take my picture. I hate the way I look, my weight, my outdated hair. But my husband loves me the way I am. Well one day I thought I would actually do my hair and my make up. A task that took me 2 hours to do because well, as you can see I have a lot of hair. I started doing my make up more and actually trying to look nice even while doing house work. I have been keeping up on the house work and even helping my husband with tasks like cleaning the barn and picking up things covered in spiders (ewwww). But that has not helped my battle with self worth at all.
Then yesterday happened. I personally find it amazing when Sunday school lessons, and sermons come at ya with “I get ya” message. Even the book I read over the weekend was a slap in the face. The sad part is- that book was a historical fiction book that took place during WWII and a young lady finds herself hiding from the SS and while doing so discovers God. The book wasn’t filled with a bunch of quotes from the bible but it was the underlining message. I finished that up Saturday. That was after another book about a Spy Ring during the Civil War and the main character deals with her past and her regrets and her self worth.
But back to yesterday. The finally topping of the cake. We are doing Sunday school about spiritual parenting. And yesterday’s topic was identity. She brought up how we are all worried about what “the punk down the street” wants us to be but we need to think about what HE wants us to be. That HE loves us for who we are. That HE has a plan for us. She reminded us of the love HE has for us by reading from Ephesians 1
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace 8 which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, 9 having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, 10 that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both[a] which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him.11 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will,12 that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.13 In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, 14 who[b] is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.
And the saying goes on. HE loves us so much that he gave us an inheritance a wonderful inheritance. I need to not worry about what other’s think but what HE thinks and what HE wants for me. I need to quit trying to impress others and just live my life the way I should, in His Glory. This sudden realization was validated at the end of the sermon that followed Sunday school. I apparently missed the main point of it (What Power really means- mercy grace and glory not control and strength). But instead took away just one part that screamed to me. Romans 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
And do not be conformed to this world, Yikes. Do not be conformed to this world. present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God. Those words stood out to me . Not conform to this world. Live your life that is acceptable to God. He is the one that matters no one else. So no more hiding behind the camera, no more trying to please everyone. I am going to live for HIM.
So that is my Monday morning thought. Not too deep and I hope it makes sense. It does in my head! I wish I had more wity and clever verses to give you guys to support this but I wont lie. I am far from perfect and I am still learning. I have only been blessed with his grace for a few years and am still learning His word. So please let me know if I am missing something here or don’t make sense.
I would love to hear from you. What verses help you get through the low self esteem, or the loss of self worth?