Am I Worthy?

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This is me. On a good day. I was tired of feeling depressed and if I was a good enough mother and wife. It has been a battle that I have been struggling with for the longest time. Which is why I have not been blogging much. And honestly normally I do not take my picture. I hate the way I look, my weight, my outdated hair. But my husband loves me the way I am. Well one day I thought I would actually do my hair and my make up. A task that took me 2 hours to do because well, as you can see I have a lot of hair. I started doing my make up more and actually trying to look nice even while doing house work. I have been keeping up on the house work and even helping my husband with tasks like cleaning the barn and picking up things covered in spiders (ewwww). But that has not helped my battle with self worth at all.

Then yesterday happened. I personally find it amazing when Sunday school lessons, and sermons come at ya with “I get ya” message. Even the book I read over the weekend was a slap in the face. The sad part is- that book was a historical fiction book that took place during WWII and a young lady finds herself hiding from the SS and while doing so discovers God. The book wasn’t filled with a bunch of quotes from the bible but it was the underlining message. I finished that up Saturday. That was after another book about a Spy Ring during the Civil War and the main character deals with her past and her regrets and her self worth.

But back to yesterday. The finally topping of the cake. We are doing Sunday school about spiritual parenting. And yesterday’s topic was identity. She brought up how we are all worried about what “the punk down the street” wants us to be but we need to think about what HE wants us to be. That HE loves us for who we are. That HE has a plan for us. She reminded us of the love HE has for us by reading from Ephesians 1

 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, 10 that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both[a] which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him.11 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will,12 that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.13 In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, 14 who[b] is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.

And the saying goes on. HE loves us so much that he gave us an inheritance a wonderful inheritance. I need to not worry about what other’s think but what HE thinks and what HE wants for me. I need to quit trying to impress others and just live my life the way I should, in His Glory.  This sudden realization was validated at the end of the sermon that followed Sunday school. I apparently missed the main point of it (What Power really means- mercy grace and glory not control and strength). But instead took away just one part that screamed to me. Romans 12:1-2

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

And do not be conformed to this worldYikes. Do not be conformed to this world. present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God.  Those words stood out to me . Not conform to this world. Live your life that is acceptable to God. He is the one that matters no one else. So no more hiding behind the camera, no more trying to please everyone. I am going to live for HIM. 

So that is my Monday morning thought. Not too deep and I hope it makes sense. It does in my head! I wish I had more wity and clever verses to give you guys to support this but I wont lie. I am far from perfect and I am still learning. I have only been blessed with his grace for a few years and am still learning His word. So please let me know if I am missing something here or don’t make sense.

I would love to hear from you. What verses help you get through the low self esteem, or the loss of self worth?

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21 thoughts on “Am I Worthy?

  1. Pamela

    For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Psalm 139:13-15 Your hair is amazing! In your praying, thank God for who He made you to be. It made a difference in my life. We will probably never be satisfied with ourselves in this life, but praising Him for the wonder of my body helped me see I was negating His worth when I refused to see mine.

    Reply
  2. Mary Collins

    He loves us just as we are. We have to lean on that, although the world tells us we aren’t beautiful if look a certain way. It is so disappointing to see how so many women and girls dress in the name of beauty for this world. Keep your eyes on Him.

    Reply
    1. Kandi Post author

      Thank you and yes. I hate seeing girls in their teens or even tweens wearing clothes I wore in my early 20’s in my club kid days. That was of course before I was saved. I make my daughter buy clothes that are bigger just so they fit her decently.

      Reply
    1. Kandi Post author

      One was called Saving Amelie that was the WWII book, the other is called Circle of Spies and takes place towards the end of the war and is about Lincoln’s assassination. Both really good books!

      Reply
  3. Renee Kinlaw

    A while back I watched Liz Curtis Higgs on video. Something she said really hit home with me. –When God created me, He didn’t just see me as I was at that moment, but He saw me today. And He loved me. He thought I was beautiful. God knew what size I would be, He knew every flaw my character would have even when He was bringing me into existence. He made me in His image. I am His and He is mine.

    Those are the things I think on when I feel those awful urges to not like myself.

    Thank you for the post. Praying for you.

    Reply
  4. Ally King

    I am a first time visitor to your blog and what a great post about self worth. I definitely understand that.

    You and I are both so blessed that we have husbands who love us no matter what we look like but at the same time, we can’t hide behind that as the reason for our insecurities so we have to face the truth that there is something between ourselves and God. And that just isn’t easy.

    Nobody has ever put me down for my appearance–at least to my face haha–so it’s all in me and it’s my mess that I created and that I have to work out with my Father. Tough stuff for sure!

    Thanks for sharing your heart!

    Reply
    1. Kandi Post author

      How true that is! No one has ever put me down either so everything is all me. I think it all steams from having a teacher in JR high ask me why I couldn’t be more like my sister. Ever since then I always wondered if what I was doing was good enough. It is something I am working on and my husband does a great job of trying to lift me up. But like you said- it is between me and our Father.

      Reply
  5. Brandi @ penguinsinpink.com

    Are you worthy? YES! God loves you so much he gave his only son up for YOU! I often mediate on that verse when I’m feeling down. You are very pretty and have some seriously awesome hair )
    I’m kinda jealous of it :)). Keep focusing on Him and not the world!

    Reply
    1. Kandi Post author

      Thank you Brandi- I do like my hair, except in this summer heat lol. But I don’t think I could cut it either. I swear curling it made it at least 6 inches shorter than it really is! And thank you for reminding me of that verse. We made our kids memorize it so I don’t know how I could have forgotten it!

      Reply
  6. Marissa

    The battle of the voices of a broken world and the voice of the True King is a horrible daily reality. When the voices of the world are too loud and pounding I have to remind myself to close down my ears to them and turn to the voice of the Calm Whisper and knows me and loves me as His perfect craftsmanship

    Marissa

    Reply
  7. Jodi Spencer

    Love it! And I love your hair! My husband makes me keep long hair too and I mostly complain about it being hot and heavy hehe

    It’s hard to preach that into your own heart, especially if you’ve ever been told otherwise by someone you love. My mother is verbally and emotionally abusive so I spent years hearing out unworthy I was until I stopped talking to her altogether a few years ago. It’s so, so hard to undo that thinking.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    1. Kandi Post author

      Oh Jodi I am so sorry to hear that you endured that from your own mom. It is harder when that comes from family. And thank you on the compliment of my hair. My hubby could honestly care less. I do civil war reenacting and it is just easier to do time period hair styles with it. But yeah- it is definitely hot and heavy during these summers. To put it in a bun I have to use 3 pony tail holders and a clip!

      Reply
  8. Matilda

    When i was younger i had the same insecurities until i confronted the devil for the lies he kept telling me. I would look in the mirror and not see what everyone could see when i received compliments. Thank God for Jesus…Yes you are worthy, you are beautiful and wonderfully made in the image of God. Go flaunt that lovely hair he gave you.!

    Reply
  9. GinaB @ Mirror Watching

    So glad God found you in this point in your life and spoke a word to you. Nothing like being found and cared for my God. Depression can be brutal. I pray you, let the seeds that were plant grown and mature and bring a full and complete deliverance in you life.

    Reply

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