Why I am not *Just* a SAHM


Ok first- Yes- I will probably offend someone with this- but that is just the way society is these days (that is a whole different soap box though). However, this is something that has literally been bothering me. In fact- it had me in tears the other day.

Why do we view Stay At Home Moms as less of a person then the moms who leave for work?

I can honestly approach this topic on both sides. I was a working mom. I dropped my kids off at daycare I went to a brick and mortar building and I worked. I had to. I would get so angry and frustrated when people would pull the “how can you let someone else raise your kids” and “how do you miss out on all those moments?”. It is called I had to. I had no choice. I did what I needed to help feed my babies, cloth them, and care for them.  And yes even once I hit school age I changed jobs and went to work at their school as a para. There would be days where I would be out of my house for literally 15 hours between school and activities. Cleaning still got done and dinner still made (out here we do not have fast foods so that isn’t an option on those crazy 15 hour days). We made it work for as long as we could.

Now I am JUST a stay at home mom… So why does that bother me?

Well because people now go “oh I wish I could just stay at home” or “well not everyone can afford to stay home” and “oh you must have so much time on your hands what shows do you watch all day” “some of us have to actually go to work”


First the afford. We can’t AFFORD for me to stay at home. But with my husbands job we don’t have a choice- my kids go to a school 20 minutes away from our farm, closest family is 45 minutes. I can’t work in one town and have my kids go to school and have activities in another. It just doesn’t work. So we MAKE SACRIFICES! We don’t have cable, we don’t eat out, we try to grow as much of our own food as possible and most importantly my husband works 3 jobs and yes- I work one.

Which brings me to the “you must have so much time on your hands” While yes I do have some extra time on my hands it isn’t what you think. Here is my day: Get up get the kids ready for school and driven to the bus stop, come home do the dishes, sweep the floor (dirt roads and husky = constant sweeping)- do laundry- do grocery shopping- work my business (yess I have my own business)- pick up kids, make dinner, drive to what ever activity that is going on for that night, bed time- THEN sit.  DAILY.  That is my routine.


Which brings me to my last point- The whole actually go to work comment. I work to- I may not leave my house to work- but I still work just like those sitting in the cube farms or walking the isles. The only difference is- my job is one where I have to market myself- I have be on social media constantly advertising, constantly reaching out to companies for my blog, trying to build a customer base for my actual business. I hop on at various times because not everyone is on in the internet world at the same time. Then the messages, I have to follow up with inquiries to my products, my business opportunities, parties that are being held, I could go on.


So yes, I am a Stay at Home mom- but I don’t just sit and watch TV- I work, I clean house, I cook, I chauffer my kids around, just like every other working mom out there. And you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world. Because of me working my OWN business I can enjoy field trips, vacations, and be there for sick days. I am not stressed trying to fit everything in during a 2 hour time frame in the evenings, which makes a happier more relaxed mom, husband, and kids. I am not weak for choosing to stay home, I am not lazy for choosing to stay at home. I am a simply a mother- just like you.

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