Welcome to pt 2 of my thoughts for today as promised in the early pt 1 post. I have been battling a lot with some inner issues. Mainly trying to figure out how to do everything, and how to forgive and just let petty things go, also being more positive.
My thoughts on this really started back when I did my I am a Mom post. This week really was not any better. More stress then anything else. Dishwasher still not working, minor and material thing I know but still frustrating when trying to sell your house.Which brings me to the next thing- trying to get my house ready to sell. These agents want this perfectly clean- model home type appearance. Hello, I have 2 kids and a dog and it is just me- it IS NEVER going to look like that picture perfect model home. Then there is the taxes, finances, truck acting up, phones aren’t working, and then not knowing where we are going to move. That is the biggest one. I hate not knowing what type of community I am going to be moving to. What are the people like, will the accept us, will my kids adjust ok. So many exciting yet scary thoughts going through my mind it is overwhelming. And to be dealing with all this by myself- hubby not around no one to talk to at night about it. Or is there?
Through out the past few weeks I kept seeing the same things being posted. It all started over at My Freshly Brewed Life with her post about how life is an adventure and God is in control. Then I noticed the devotionals from Our Daily Bread had the same theme going.
Ok, ok I get it- So I start reading Psalms. I started at the beginning and noticed a lot of it as a- asking for forgiveness b- asking for protection and c- asking for help and most of all- Giving thanks…. Then I get to Psalms 13:5-6 “But I have trusted in Your Mercy; My heart shall rejoice in Your Salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me”…. Have I trusted in him? Am I giving Him enough Praise? Another verse that has jumped out at me is Psalms 18:2-3 “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies.”
Wow….since reading that I realized what I have been missing. I mean we all pray but do we really mean it? Do you really trust that God will help you?
To be honest I am new at this. I was just baptized last spring and I have always told my husband we just have to pray about it and He has not let us fail yet. I admit that I do not know everything and I may be off on what these verses are meaning. But I am always told there is no translating the Bible. It is what it is. There are times were I feel as if I am taking on more then I can handle. I feel frustrated, I feel alone, I feel almost lost at times. But that is because I am not giving it all over to Him. That is part of my inner battle. I need to hand things over to God more. I need to focus on the good and show my appreciation for what he has given me more often. So that is my other #1 goal. I have always opened my heart to Him but I feel as if it hasn’t been enough. Also to not be so bitter about some other situations that are going on in my life right now. I need to just let things go. I need to fight these battles and trust in Him more!