It has been a hot mess since I last posted. I told myself I was going to post once a week at least and I am sorry I have not followed through with that. Self doubt crept up on me and so much has been going on, I let it break me.
I am sadly no longer with the Cocoa Exchange and that is honestly ok. I realized I need time to work on me and better my inner self. I have posted before that I struggle with self doubt. I am getting better at that but there are times it still kicks in. Some of it comes with how I view myself.
I have let myself go. I wear jeans and a tshirt every day- I am ashamed of my body and cover- My health sucks- I am tired of being a frumpy mom. I know- I am not- my kids and my hubby tell me that daily. And I may sound vain- but I need to work on my health and my outward appearance. So I started working out.
I seriously had no idea my stomach muscles still existed! Seriously I hurt. I do 15 minutes on an eliptical, 10 semi squats (I say semi because I struggle with them) 10 semi lunges (again I struggle- don’t judge) 10 sit ups (although I did 20 yesterday- and I suck at those too lol) and about 30 seconds plank. My goal is to keep increasing those each week. So next monday I want to up to 20 minutes eliptical – 15- 15- 25 and 45 seconds. My big picture goal is to drop 50lbs at least- and go from a size 14 to a size 8 at least. And it isn’t just for looks. I have hypertension and I hate medication- I want to stop taking it and living healthy and being able to keep up with my cross country running kiddos.
I also would like to get back to meal planning- but sadly I am working nights no matter how often I ask to be put back on days ( I was hired to manage the coffee shop portion of a restuarant but was put on night shifts) I am stuck on nights- and that makes cooking dinner hard. Maybe I will start making dinners for lunches and the kids and hubs can have the left overs for dinners.
I usually say I am going to do these things and the let the self doubt creep in- let the “I can’ts” win and give up. But this time I really need to stay focused and stay on top of it. I need to do this for myself and my family. Maybe next week I will even post a picture so we could do a before and after.
Sunrise at The Pines Resort and Campground in Deer River MN
It has been such a crazy year! I went back to working part time- It works out great because I don’t have to make a gazillion trips into town. Still doing my hustle of chocolate with The Cocoa Exchange and that is going good. Now the goal of getting back into blogging.
There is one thing this year that is major. The Popo and I celebrated 15 years! I have been told we are not normal but I am ok with that. We celebrated our 15 years at a resort a friend bought off of Lake Winnibigoshish in Minnesota.
Can I just say I find it very fitting that the first day of the year is falling on the first day of the week! Something about Monday’s. Most people dread them I see them as an opportunity to set the tone for the rest of the week. And since this one is the 1st day of the year I am going to use it to set the town for my year!
A few friends of mine on Facebook posted- this is the 1st day of a 365 page book. Someone took it a step further and said this is the first of 365 pages of chapter 28 in her life. For me it would be chapter 36. But they all followed it with something positive and encouraging and hopeful. And they are right. I know my last post was a little gloomy. I figure I can either dwell on the gloom or rise above it and move ahead. So I was thinking of doing a 365 series. This will be hard I have zero accountability unless some other bloggers want to link up. But my goal is to blog each day this year. Maybe describe my day in a picture (I love photography and this would help keep me behind the lens), but ultimate I want to be 100% real with you guys. My goal is to be honest about my day (why sugar coat it, we may be bloggers but we are not perfect super moms) and make sure I find at least 1 blessing out of that day to share with you!
Another year has come and gone. It honestly has been a very over whelming year and a hard year. This year and quiet honestly the past few years, it seems like no matter how hard we try we just keep sinking.
Ok so this post is going to start out sad- because I need to talk. I need to get it out. My husband and I are struggling. I haven’t been able to blog as much as I would like because I am trying to stay above water and am constantly running my kids around everywhere since hubs works 3 jobs. We were finally pulling ahead, we got in so much debt during 2010 when my husband was unemployeed for the whole year like many other electricitions and trade jobs. We did what we needed to but now are paying for it. We were finally getting ahead, then 2016 happened. It started in March with the nightmare of my daughter having intussusception (you can read about that HERE). That was hard- to sum it up- my, then 9 year old, had a section of her colon removed during an emergency surgery. It still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. Right as those medical bills starting coming in Sept/October, our boiler in our old farm house decided it was done and quit. Now keep in mind, we bought this house knowing it was a fixer upper. We knew the heating needed updated and it has no AC so we knew that would need done. But we were not expecting the larger expenses to occur until we got some of the smaller things done. WRONG. $5K that we had to come up with (on top of the the $2K for medical bills) to at least get heat on our main level. Yes, I said on the main level. Our second floor does not have heat yet- we use small little heaters in each room so have grown used to multiple blankets and 65 degrees warmth. We still do not have AC. Our house is a full 3 stories so we have to zone- we have to put insulation in because it does not have ANY so we got the main level down to help keep some of our new heat in. All things we did not expect so soon. Fast forward to December- 2 ER trips were done. One was comical- husband was stashing Christmas gifts and lost his balance and landed on some Lego’s- Carefuly they not only hurt to step on but can cut you bad enough for stitches. Oh yeah- the ER nurses had a GREAT laugh over that. Then Christmas Eve came- ER trip for me at 2am- thought appendicitis turned out inflammation so possible viral or Chrons. Either way I stayed in the hospital but got to go home around lunch time Christmas Day (found out a month or so later it was a new medication they put me on for my blood pressure). You guessed it more medical bills.
Another busy week but I am on week 3 of just doing a weekly meal plan instead of planning for the whole month. I am already $200 below what I usually spend on groceries. Seriously our schedules change so much and it is so crazy that I have to use a white board for a calander. Just when I think I have the month figured out at the beginning things get added, or removed, husbands shifts changes. It definitely keeps me on my toes.
This week is no different. We JUST found out what times we have to be at parent teacher conferences on Thursday. We have our usual tumbling and ballet, scouts on saturday I have a vendor show on saturday. Just crazy schedules! So this week I went more towards easy and hope there is some health value to it!
Hey everyone! It has been a long while I know. I am trying to get into a routine and get back on track with life in general.
The past few weeks have been full of scouts, tumbling, and ballet. Which means our meals have been slacking in the health department. But I rally have got to crack down on that.
So here is my problem. I do good, I cook healthy meals through out the month but some are lacking. I go a week of working out then just lose it. I lose motivation, I lose momentum. I get frustrated. However, I can’t! I weigh 196 lbs and am 5’3 this isn’t good for my health, or my blood pressure. But yeat no matter what I do or try I just fall short of staying on top of things.
I need something to help me stay accountable. Something that keeps me going and don’t let me give into that breaking point where I just stop. I don’t know maybe I just need to be hypnotized to be a fitness guru mindset person. Is that even possible?
So what do you do when you lack motivation, confidence, and drive? How do fight through it and stick with it? Do you use any apps, meal plans, work out facilities?
Ok first- Yes- I will probably offend someone with this- but that is just the way society is these days (that is a whole different soap box though). However, this is something that has literally been bothering me. In fact- it had me in tears the other day.
Why do we view Stay At Home Moms as less of a person then the moms who leave for work?
I can honestly approach this topic on both sides. I was a working mom. I dropped my kids off at daycare I went to a brick and mortar building and I worked. I had to. I would get so angry and frustrated when people would pull the “how can you let someone else raise your kids” and “how do you miss out on all those moments?”. It is called I had to. I had no choice. I did what I needed to help feed my babies, cloth them, and care for them. And yes even once I hit school age I changed jobs and went to work at their school as a para. There would be days where I would be out of my house for literally 15 hours between school and activities. Cleaning still got done and dinner still made (out here we do not have fast foods so that isn’t an option on those crazy 15 hour days). We made it work for as long as we could.
Welcome back! It has been a crazy busy week here. We are getting ready for popcorn sales for Little Man’s cub scouts, plus a camping trip a week away. I have a vendor show for my Dove Chocolate Discoveries business on Saturday and Little Miss is home sick today. Never a dull moment in our house!
This week went a little better on the exercise- I think the field trip we went on last Friday helped out a lot. I probably walked about 2 miles that day before it rained. I do not have a step tracker so I am just guestimating. I also used the elliptical a bit more this week. I did find some work out sessions on Amazon Prime so this week I plan on trying those starting tonight!
The food wise is another topic. I ate like crap. Which is why today’s picture is me telling my stomach to shut up! So Friday- I had some time to kill before I went to the school for the field trip. Clearly that meant I needed a bacon egg and cheese bagel sandwich from McD’s with a medium Caramel Frappe. My son made our lunch which was PB&J, some apples and some Chips. I was still hungry so while I waited for them I got a bacon cheeseburger, fries and a Dr. Pepper from Runza. Yep- totally need those carbs! HA! Really the rest of the week wasn’t to terrible for Breakfast I would mostly just have toast if anything, I did have a bowl of cheerios with banana in it. Lunch was left overs as usual- except for Monday- I was out and about so I stopped at Sonic for a chicken sandwich, tater tots and a Lg Cherry Limeade. (again killed my diet). I did have a healthy meal plan worked out and grocery shopping done. But my kids probably threw it away because I can’t find it! So here was our dinners for the week-
Sunday- Left Overs
Monday- Chicken fingers and baked beans
Tuesday- Biscuits and Gravy (it was in the 50’s and drizzling so perfect comfort food)
Wednesday- Pizza (it was just my son and I since Little Miss is sick)
Today I think we will have grilled cheese and tomato soup (another chilly dreary day so more comfort food).
Even though I did not eat the greatest I am down to 188 lbs! So I did lose a pound! This week I am going to focus on continuing the exercise and trying to motivate myself- but also eating better. I noticed I snack a lot when we are running around everywhere and when I am stressed (I broke open a bag of PURE DARK Peppermint Rounds last night). So need to work on that or find healthier options for snacking since my stomach thinks I need to eat when bored.
So topic question of the week: Are you a snacker when you are bored or stressed? What are some of the things you do instead of snacking or what are some of your favorite healthy snacks?
~ I am a chocolatier for Dove Chocolate Discoveries. I am only paid a commission IF someone places an order through one of the links provided. Otherwise no form of compensation is being received for link placement. ~
I can do this! I am sitting here finishing up some work and I can just feel my blood pressure being high. I have had it! I wasn’t going to start this journey until Monday but that was just an excuse. I need to quit pushing it off.
Tomorrow I start. I need to be strong and stay in this routine. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. So it is time to form it. No more just sitting around. And hopefully this time I can stick to it. I know I have done some posts like this but then end up throwing in the towel. Well not this time. I can’t give up. My health depends on it.
So next week I will post my weight, what exercises I did, what meals I had. How I am feeling. I will be using the elliptical, I have a zumba video so I plan to use that from time to time. The meals is what I need to work on. I am sure I can find some good healthy foods to eat though.
So here is to me. I believe I can do it. I know I can do. If you are struggling with this please join me in this journey and believe in yourself.
Wow! What a crazy July! My son’s birthday, baseball tournaments, and our annual family adventure. This year it took us up to mountains. Ok to me they are mountains compared to the mass flatness of corn that we have hear. But either way you look at it- South Dakota is a beautiful state to visit. This year we visited the southwest corner of their state. And God, could I go back there in a heart beat!
Our first stop we made was more like a drive through. The Badlands. A place were you can see the perfect formations caused by weathering and erosion. God’s beautiful handi work all around. But sorry- man was it hot! Ok enough of that.