Category Archives: This and That

Finding oneself

It has been a hot mess since I last posted. I told myself I was going to post once a week at least and I am sorry I have not followed through with that. Self doubt crept up on me and so much has been going on, I let it break me.

I am sadly no longer with the Cocoa Exchange and that is honestly ok. I realized I need time to work on me and better my inner self. I have posted before that I struggle with self doubt. I am getting better at that but there are times it still kicks in.  Some of it comes with how I view myself.

I have let myself go. I wear jeans and a tshirt every day- I am ashamed of my body and cover- My health sucks- I am tired of being a frumpy mom. I know- I am not- my kids and my hubby tell me that daily. And I may sound vain- but I need to work on my health and my outward appearance. So I started working out.

I seriously had no idea my stomach muscles still existed! Seriously I hurt. I do 15 minutes on an eliptical, 10 semi squats (I say semi because I struggle with them) 10 semi lunges (again I struggle- don’t judge) 10 sit ups (although I did 20 yesterday- and I suck at those too lol) and about 30 seconds plank.  My goal is to keep increasing those each week. So next monday I want to up to 20 minutes eliptical – 15- 15- 25 and 45 seconds. My big picture goal is to drop 50lbs at least- and go from a size 14 to a size 8 at least. And it isn’t just for looks. I have hypertension and I hate medication- I want to stop taking it and living healthy and being able to keep up with my cross country running kiddos.

I also would like to get back to meal planning- but sadly I am working nights no matter how often I ask to be put back on days ( I was hired to manage the coffee shop portion of a restuarant but was put on night shifts) I am stuck on nights- and that makes cooking dinner hard. Maybe I will start making dinners for lunches and the kids and hubs can have the left overs for dinners.

I usually say I am going to do these things and the let the self doubt creep in- let the “I can’ts” win and give up. But this time I really need to stay focused and stay on top of it. I need to do this for myself and my family. Maybe next week I will even post a picture so we could do a before and after.

Weary and Burnt Out

Like millions of other’s across the nation, even world. My kids have been home since March 12th (I know some were out long before that- bless the parents out there). This week has been the most trying of them all though.

You get to a point where you are just done. You’re mentally exhausted, you are tired, you are stressed. School is going wrong and you contemplating buying your children’s teachers a year subscription to Wine of the Month as you pity them and want to thank them for enduring your children’s shenanigans.

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Why I am not *Just* a SAHM

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Ok first- Yes- I will probably offend someone with this- but that is just the way society is these days (that is a whole different soap box though). However, this is something that has literally been bothering me. In fact- it had me in tears the other day.

Why do we view Stay At Home Moms as less of a person then the moms who leave for work?

I can honestly approach this topic on both sides. I was a working mom. I dropped my kids off at daycare I went to a brick and mortar building and I worked. I had to. I would get so angry and frustrated when people would pull the “how can you let someone else raise your kids” and “how do you miss out on all those moments?”. It is called I had to. I had no choice. I did what I needed to help feed my babies, cloth them, and care for them.  And yes even once I hit school age I changed jobs and went to work at their school as a para. There would be days where I would be out of my house for literally 15 hours between school and activities. Cleaning still got done and dinner still made (out here we do not have fast foods so that isn’t an option on those crazy 15 hour days). We made it work for as long as we could.

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Let the Chaos Begin!

The All-Inclusive Hilton Rose Hall Resort & Spa

The All-Inclusive Hilton Rose Hall Resort & Spa

Yep. There. That is right there is where I want to be. I would be in the pool though (I have a fear of open water). School has started and so has the chaos. So escaping to a place like that would be heavenly right about now.

So it has been a while since I have done a random post. My kids started a new school this month. We were having way to many issues at their other school so we had to transfer them. They are loving it though. They have made new friends and have told us they are glad for the change. But with school- comes scouts, piano lessons, and then some. Let the games BEGIN!

Also with that change in school came a change of jobs for me. I sadly had to resign as the special education para. It was really hard for me to do. I cried! But I will have the opportunity to sub for them so I wont miss out completely. Instead I am going to focus on blogging and my Dove Chocolate Discoveries business and my photography! I already have a fun Gift Guide lined up for you for the holidays so I am excited for that.

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Projects Projects and More Projects

Well now that we are settled in (somewhat) we are starting to work on little projects here and there. It has been a lot of unexpected but at the same time, a lot of better outcomes. We still have a ton to do and I still wish HGTV would send someone to do fix up our house all pretty like. But in the mean time I will just keep blogging about our little progress.

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A Stormy Mother’s Day

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In the center of the picture there are at least 3 rain wrapped vortexes a few minutes later this hit town.

Sorry I have been a bit quiet and off and on with my posting this week. If you are a follower on my facebook page then you probably know on Mother’s Day we had some unwanted excitement. We knew what was coming we just were not expecting it to be as bad as it was.

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